crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(via delilahlovejoy)

killoyatthedisco:

esotericbeefarmer:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

polyturtles:

It’s 11:30 pm and I need raw cookie dough like I need air in my lungs.

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna drive to Wal-Mart at midnight in my pajamas and buy a roll of cookie dough because I’m an adult with my own money who gets to make his own decisions.

image

Yes.

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Hell yes.

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Hell.

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Fucking.

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Yes.

I am so, so proud of you.

I want to be like this when I’m older

(via delilahlovejoy)

tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

(via delilahlovejoy)

auschwentz:

what if you boarded a plane and a band member sat down next to you

(Source: flyblown, via delilahlovejoy)

gabite:

finishing a question on a math test like

image

(via bend-it-ova)

ju-ke:

i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that

(Source: neptunain, via delilahlovejoy)